Why your kitchen is gaslighting you worse than a bad Tinder date
You know that moment when you swipe right, the pictures look amazing, the bio screams “adventurous,” and then the actual date feels like a lukewarm glass of tap water?
That’s exactly how Sara felt about her Craighall Park kitchen.
On paper, it had “potential.” In reality, it was dark, dated, and suffocating — trapping heat like a jealous ex and whispering lies every time she walked in. “I’m cosy,” the cupboards claimed. “I’m timeless,” the beige walls insisted. Meanwhile, she was sweating through another Jo’burg summer wondering if her own home secretly hated her.
“Renato,” she sighed when I arrived, “my kitchen is gaslighting me worse than a bad Tinder date. Help.”
The Red Flags: Kitchen Edition
Just like a dodgy Hinge profile, her space had all the warning signs:
Looked good once, but aged badly. Dark brown cupboards that might have been “classic” in 2005 but now just felt like a heat trap.
Made her feel small. Beige walls sucking the life out of the light, shrinking the room, killing her vibe.
Didn’t support her lifestyle. Entertaining? Forget it. She said guests came in and immediately wanted to leave — and not in a ghosting kind of way.
Enter: The Colour Intervention
Now, I’m not a therapist (though sometimes it feels like it). But I do know this: colour psychology is real. Your kitchen can gaslight you… or it can flirt with you. It’s all in the tones.
Here’s what I told Sara while we played with swatches (and maybe flirted just a little ourselves):
Dark, warm tones = toxic behaviour. They trap heat, close you in, and keep lying that they’re “sophisticated.”
Light neutrals with cool undertones = healthy relationship. They open the space, reflect light, and make you breathe easier.
Sage greens & soft greys = the green flags. They calm your nervous system, feel fresh, and trick your brain into thinking the room is cooler.
So, we broke up with her cupboards’ “dark phase” and repainted them in a soft off-white that bounced natural light around the room. Crisp white skirtings sharpened everything up. And then — the glow-up move — a sage feature wall that instantly made the kitchen feel alive.
Adding Personality: Prints, Plants, and a Wink
But Sara didn’t just want “fresh.” She wanted fun. Something that showed off her personality, not just a showroom look.
So we built her a feature wall with layers of personality:
Base colour: calming sage green.
Living texture: trailing plants, a cheeky fiddle-leaf fig, and herbs that made the room smell as good as it looked.
Framed prints: botanical sketches mixed with bold art, like little winks on the wall.
Suddenly, her kitchen wasn’t gaslighting her anymore — it was flirting back.
The Reveal
When the last brush dried, Sara walked in, tilted her head, and whispered, “Renato… this feels like a new relationship.”
And she was right. The space was lighter, cooler, calmer. It finally treated her the way she deserved.
Because here’s the thing: your kitchen shouldn’t lie to you, drain you, or make you feel trapped. That’s what bad Tinder dates are for. Your kitchen should excite you, refresh you, and make you want to show it off. That's what we are for!!!
👉 So, let me ask: is your kitchen a keeper, or is it gaslighting you with colours you secretly hate?
If it’s the latter, don’t ghost it — call me. We’ll flirt with some colour psychology, throw in a cheeky feature wall, and give you a kitchen that actually deserves a second date.
